It’s been so long since you actually spoke to me properly my friend. I sometimes wonder if you actually consider me too as a friend. Can any friendship exist without speaking, interacting, talking? Why does it have to be anger all the time? I sometimes wonder if you actually have any Love and Affection for me.

I have been reflecting through, it’s always been me who tries to talk to you, wants to be with you, keen on showing my Love and Affection for you. But, it’s never been the other way. There has never been a time when you have come back to me trying to console me, cajole me (sigh).

It really hurts a lot when you just stop speaking or communicating. Isn’t there anything to talk or communicate to me? as a friend?

Trust is the most important part of a relationship, closely followed by communication. I think that if you have those two things, everything else falls into place – your affection, your emotional connection.

Maybe this saying explains all. O! Krishna, O! Madhava, why does this have to be like this? Everytime, it’s me who has to compromise, receive all anger and irritation and wait for my friend to be back… Is this what is known as separation? No communication. Just look at each other as ghosts.

When Krishna left the Rasa dance and disappeared, the gopis felt intense separation from their lover Krishna. To remember Him they imitated His pastimes and repeated His words to them. Krishna is the most handsome male, and with His sweet words, He won their hearts. Although some of the gopis were married, they could not forget Krishna for a moment of their lives. All living beings are female to Lord Krishna and meant to be enjoyed by Him. Lord Krishna’s disappearance from the gopis is mentioned in the Srimad-Bhagavatam, 10th canto, 30th chapter.

Such descriptions of Kṛṣṇa’s transcendental pastimes and activities were remembered by the gopīs during His absence from Vṛndāvana. They give us some idea of Kṛṣṇa’s attraction. Everyone and everything is attracted to Kṛṣṇa–that is the perfect description of Kṛṣṇa’s attraction. The example of the gopīs is very instructive to persons who are trying to be absorbed in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. One can very easily associate with Kṛṣṇa simply by remembering His transcendental pastimes. Everyone has a tendency to love someone. That Kṛṣṇa should be the object of love is the central point of Kṛṣṇa consciousness. By constantly chanting the Hare Kṛṣṇa mantra and remembering the transcendental pastimes of Kṛṣṇa, one can be fully in Kṛṣṇa consciousness and thus make his life sublime and fruitful.

It is so true, and you my dear friend was the one who awakened this Consciousness and brought Krishna Consciousness in my life. Is my Love for you the devotee and Krishna so weak that you always are in anger with me? Always do not wish to accept my Love nor show any from your side?

“They do not Love, that do not show Love” – William Shakespeare

I hope it is not. O!Krishna, I hope you will sincerely give me my share of Love and Affection from my dearest friend.  I am waiting for communications.



Love- Affection- Hurt

Love- Affection- Hurt

It’s been so long since I posted, a little too caught up. Suddenly there was lot of love and affection showered on me, it felt so nice, so much of the belongingness. The sudden show of love and affection was really overwhelming, and all incidents are so vivid infront of me, but alas, it just changed. One single message, and everything was withdrawn.

Mind was reeling, heart was crying out and all the tears just kept pouring out, so difficult to cry too these days… all would wonder what is wrong. But the pain in the heart is not seen by the one who has to see. The agony is not felt at all. Why always it has to be me? Why always the Love and affection phase is so shortlived and only hurt and anger is for longer duration? Do I deserve only this?

Amidst such thoughts, I was musing about Srimati Radharani and Krishna. How Radharani must have felt when Krishna just left Vrindavana and never returned there. How all the Gopis, kept looking forward to meet Him with all their love and affection in their heart. Really great that despite everything, they always chanted Krishna’s name with so much love and were eager to do anything and everything for Him. Ofcourse, it is not a comparision, it was the thought to show how Love placed in the right place is always merited.

I have also shown always my Love and affection, even though you have hurt me several times, even now recently too. Ofcourse will always continue to do so, but there are moments when I am also angered and feel really crushed and sad. Oh Krishna, isnt there a way to make this person understand about my true love and affection?

It would be nice and best if you could see the good and not see the bad in me, and connect through the soul. A soulful relationship!

“sarvasya chaham hridi sannivisto”
God is seated in everyone’s heart.

“ishvarah sarva-bhutanam
hrd-dese ’rjuna tishthati”

The Supreme God dwells/resides in the hearts of all beings

Krishna is all present in our hearts and I am sure He has understood where the mistake is. Waiting for Him to set it right, nice and make it beautiful and lasting for this lifetime with no more rifts.



The very word brings in calmness.. Something which all of us crave for and me so in particular. The mind being the monkey that it is, never stays calm for me. The root cause for this I identified for myself is my attachment– yes attachment in an email means so much, but attachment is life to people or things means so differently! Attachment causes pain as it is directly related to expectation. Our expectation of people owing to our attachment is the root cause for all disturbance. When expectations fail, is when the attachment hurts and pains.

My attachment to my dearest friend has also made me feel the same, go through pain and loose all my mental calmness. No, not blaming.. just feeling bad that similar attachment is missed at the other end.

Buddha gave up all attachment and attained tranquility, but all cannot do similarly. We cannot give up and search for tranquility. But can experience the same by treading on the spiritual path and experience tranquil showers. More simply put, just chant

“Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare”.

So, simple chant and be happy, merry and take in the tranquility. Miracles do happen…. waiting for some. Today is Buddha Poornima… chant and experience the calmness.






Forgiveness in a Relationship

IMG-20150212-WA0035“Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you stand alone”

How true, everyone likes to be a party to joy and cheer. When you are sad, even your shadow leaves you behind.

A question that has been troubling me since a few years, is it very difficult for a person to forgive another despite their seeking an apology and asking for forgiveness? Despite the fact that the person values the relationship more to actually prove the right and wrong?

Many a time, we see the story from our view point, however good a judge you are of human character and can understand people’s mentality, one does err at some point. That is how it is with me… I have made my share of a mistake, sought apology but, my dearest friend feels, I have done much more and deserve no forgiveness. All the joyful times spent together, the care, the joy, the affection is all forgotten. Somewhere I have been judged a little wrongly I feel. This friend who knows me in and out, can understand me so well, has also made an error, which has now made the friendship, the relationship dry and has lost its charm and lusture.

Why does such a thing happen Krsna? I wanted to just ask, am I such a person, who cannot be forgiven? Are the mistakes so bad that one doesn’t want to forgive but wants to carry the anger forever? Aren’t we loosing out on the time which we could spend together sharing thoughts, caring for each other?

he krsna karuna-sindhu dina-bandho jagat-pate gopesa gopika-kanta radha-kanta namo ‘stu te

O my dear Krsna, You are the friend of the distressed and the source of creation. You are the master of the gopis and the lover of Radharani. I offer my respectful obeisances unto You.

Why is this happening to me? Why only the faults are being highlighted and the true love, affection of a friendship and the good relationship is forgotten? I have called out to you in distress….. with the hope of an answer soon.